


If it’s going to break me, won’t you let me know?

by redhoneyplease



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, Dark!13, Tension, anyway i hope you enjoy it, dark!Doctor, i don’t know, maybe not yet, would you classify this as angst????
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-07 20:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19857316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redhoneyplease/pseuds/redhoneyplease
Summary: BASICALLY, 13 kind of loses her temper and this is the ~aftermath~ woot woot





	If it’s going to break me, won’t you let me know?

**Author's Note:**

> uh hello welcome to my first doctor who fic! I may have developed the plot as I was writing it so if it’s not shakespeare level writing.... that. Is. Why.
> 
> Anyway yeah!! Enjoy the fic I guess B)

The Doctor’s arrival in the central area of the TARDIS was less than welcoming.  
The room slowly melted in on itself, silently burning the seconds away. Their tired eyes were driven to the floor upon the echo of her footsteps, involuntarily held under the weight of tender, unspoken memories. The deafening silence drilled into the joint output of unwanted fear, and all the Doctor could do, was wait.  
She knew what she had done. And it was her fault that her once tightly-knitted ‘fam’ had seen it. The present ego in the moment had taken control. Admittedly, a part of her was grateful the grand performance of her own truth had taken place so early on.  
But the larger whole that was gnawing at her conscious was the deep, syrup-like regret. The wet, internalised anger that ate up any possibility of relief from the shame that drooped over her shoulders.  
“So, that’s it? It’s over, Doc?”  
Graham’s words bounced off of the walls, back into the void they escaped from. He drifted his vision to the alien they once trusted with sorrow in his veins,  
“No... of course no-”  
The sudden flick of a glance to the doctor from Yaz seemed to tear her desire to finish her sentence apart. The doctor’s hands anxiously fiddled in her pockets - a desperate cry for a follow-up to her now quotable line.  
“Doctor, I don’t want to say this but..”  
Yaz lifted her sunken head, as she hesitantly built up the courage to look the woman across from her in the eyes; to regard her for the first time in what felt like forever.  
“I think we should take a break.”  
A short, understanding nod was all the doctor could send back.  
“Not for long..”  
The severe lack of confidence in her voice served as an unintentional cue for Ryan to interject; to change the sensitive topic at hand.  
“So, we all just going to hop on over what the doctor did then?”  
He interrogated the room fiercely; a direct change from his once meek attitude.  
“Alright. Stay silent.”  
He lifted up his hands to signal his surrender. Defeated - Ryan gave into his own silence.  
The Doctor rose her posture awkwardly, a somewhat stab in the dark to correctly converse with her apparent companions - those who had witnessed the unfolding of her nature. The raw, unfiltered mounds of brutal anger in her soul. Shattering the facade she held. A moment of pure exposure.  
A drastic shift in the way she’s perceived.  
Yaz reaffirmed Ryan’s inquisition with seething pain in her eyes,  
“Doctor?”  
A sharp interjection,  
“-Are you scared of me?”  
There was an innocent plague of hurt that curled around the doctor’s intonation, twisting the suggested power dynamic in the room.  
Unsatisfied with the lack of response, and the subsequent re-flooding in of dead silence, she threw out an accompaniment to her last clause.  
“All of you. You know how I acted.”  
The sudden questionnaire by the woman who had revoked their trust was a shock to the system.  
“Doc, I don’t want to lie to you.. Grace would despise me if I did,”  
He inhaled a sorrowful breath,  
“But, we’re well shaken up.”  
The Doctor gave a nod in response, an understanding movement that conveyed her own emotion through fine motor movements.  
“I’m sorry.”  
Her body pulsed with an unescapable plea for purity, to be cleansed of her past, to have a blank slate ahead.  
It’s not that simple.  
She knows that.  
“I’m sorry Yaz - I shouldn’t have.. well, yelled - at **you**.”  
Her apology was unnecessarily hasty, the corners of her words dipped in her raging regret.  
“Ryan, Graham.. I’m.. I’m sorry you had to - be there, as bystanders.”  
Her chest rose and fell steadily as words escaped her lips.  
“Apology accepted, Doc... but I think Yaz is right,”  
“We should take a break. With two deaths now, I don’t fancy seeing anymore.”  
Graham sighed with a hint of emotional exhaustion.  
The Doctor stood in her own space, she latched onto split-second apologetic glances to both Ryan and Yaz; once friends who within precious seconds, began to felt like strangers.  
The heightened tension that whispered of sly conflict ate at her. The emotional high sending her right back to those she had farewelled before.  
“I think Ryan was right, Doctor,”  
Yaz quietly suggested, her hands interlocked, held together with the force of intensive, unwanted fear.  
“We should probably talk about what actually... _happened_.”

.........?

**Chiswick.**  
**It started in Chiswick.**

**Author's Note:**

> uh. Sorry it’s so short I wasn’t sure how to end it but. Yeah! The next part will be the actual story of what happened and the most angst-y dark!13 part so get hyped (if you want)  
> I hope it wasn’t too bad!!!!!!!!!!  
> This is my first Doctor who related fic so be nice... (please)


End file.
